Building A Relationship With Your Child's Coach

Here is a re-post of an article I posted about a year ago. Very helpfull info for parents with kids of all ages and timely considering most leagues are starting spring baseball soon...

Youth baseball leagues cannot survive without volunteerism. It takes the time and effort of many dedicated people to deliver a great experience for its players. This includes managers and coaches who tend to offer many hours on and off the field. As parents we have an obligation to the team as well. Here are a few ways you can help the coach and your kid during the baseball season.

1. Communicate With Coach And Arrive On Time.

Whether through email or via phone make sure the coach knows your kids availability for games and practices. If your child is going to be late give an accurate time as to when he/she will arrive. Games require prep work and coaches generally figure out where kids are going to play prior to game time (a rotation). This can take a long time to put together and if a kid doesn’t show up on time, it creates a lot of extra work for the coach. Also, make sure your kid is well prepared for the game with the proper equipment.

2. Get Involved.

Coaches generally welcome parent who volunteer to help. Tell the coach at the beginning of the year that you are willing to help. Let him know what you can offer the kids.

3. Pick Up A Rake.

Most leagues have requirements to prep fields before or after games. Parent can help out by taking over this responsibility for the team leaving time for coaches to warm up before a game or have post game discussions with the team. These are both important parts of the baseball experience and parents should pave the way for this to take place.

4. Cheer For All Players.

Baseball is a team sport. Parents should cheer for all players on the team. It’s even OK to cheer for kids on the opposing team. Give the kids a smile and cheer for all of them.

5. Have One-On-Ones With Coaches After Games.

From time to time you may need to speak with your kids coach privately about issues. The best time to do this is after games or practices. The best way to go about this is to ask the coach a few days in advance if they will have some time to speak with you. Give them an understanding of what it is you want to talk about. Most importantly have this discussion without the kids around to listen.

6. Be Constructive.

Not destructive! Nothing is worse that negative energy on a baseball team. It can drive teams with great talent to the brink of destruction. It’s important for parents to keep things positive. Don’t give into discussions with others about what the coaches are doing wrong… focus on what they are doing right. If you have an idea, observation or suggestion… result to item #5. Keep things positive. In most cases all involved are there to make the experience a great one… help that cause, don’t fight it.

Always remember that we are all doing this for the kids. At the end of the day what’s important is that the kids are playing baseball, participating in a positive activity, getting exercise, making friends, learning to be a teammate. I hope these few ideas will help you develop great relationships with your child coach and make your child’s baseball experience a better one.

Coach Bob

An Article Every Baseball Parent Should Read...

Here's a great article that I came across today. Every baseball (sports) parent should read it. No additional comment necessary...

Hey, it's just youth baseball - don't be that parent

Saratoga News
06/24/2008 08:06:33 PM PDT

Oh, please tell me I was never that parent ... the parent that I saw over the weekend at my grandson's all-star baseball game.

Please tell me I was never like the mom who screamed at her son each of the three times he struck out--louder each time until the 8-year-old was finally in tears.
Please tell me I was never the dad who commented on everything his son did, hollering out helpful "tips" and offering words of encouragement, but also dealing out negative comments about the play of others.

And please tell me I was never the guy who orchestrated his son's every move, even to the point of positioning him in the outfield, like he had any idea where the kid should be playing or why he should be playing there.

So please tell me I was never that parent when I was a "parent-coach" for the combined 15 or so years that my boys were playing youth and high school baseball.

"Oh, sure you were," said my youngest son, Kevin.
"I was?" I asked in disbelief. "Which one?"
"You can't be serious," said Mike, the oldest. "You were all of them!"
Well, that truly hurts. Here I always thought I was that supportive, reassuring parent who encouraged and nurtured his boys through the youth sports experience.
"Are you kidding?" asked Mike, unsuccessfully fighting back a hearty laugh.

OK, so I do admit to making Mike cry just about every time we drove home from practice during his first year of real baseball. But as any pushy baseball parent knows, that 8-year-old season is critical in the drive to the Major Leagues.

That must be what the parents at Anthony's game were thinking last weekend. After all, any kid who strikes out in an 8-year-old all-star game (uh, did I mention it was only a practice game?) certainly will drop a couple of rounds in the amateur draft.

So as any good parent-coach knows, it's important to get through to the child immediately by screaming at him--even better, have his mother scream "swing" after every pitch. And what kid doesn't like having his mom call him out behind the dugout to yell at him face-to-face after a strikeout? Hey, this kid must have been too young to know that there's no crying in baseball, because the tears were falling faster than the pitcher's earned run average after that third strikeout.

Well, I must admit that I learned my lesson a few weeks into Mike's 8-year-old season and we enjoyed another dozen or so tearless years where he experienced more than his share of success. And it must have been a pretty positive experience for him, because he's now a high school baseball coach.

Hopefully, the mom of Anthony's teammate will soon learn a similar lesson, though (as any self-respecting nosy newspaperman would do) I discovered by eavesdropping that she had other sons playing elsewhere. I sure hope they're swinging.

And as for the dads, their sons would be much better off if they'd just let them play and leave the coaching to the coaches (hey, there's a novel thought!).

It's the negative comments, though, where the line should certainly be drawn. There's no reason for a parent to criticize any player on the field--his own son, his son's teammates or even the players on the opposing team. It's youth baseball, for crying out loud--8-year-old youth baseball in this case!

I bring this all up now for a couple of reasons. First of all, I just saw these parents in action on Saturday, and from the perspective of a grandfather sitting in the bleachers I was appalled by their actions and I was embarrassed for them. Secondly, the all-star season is starting in full swing this week for Little League baseball players of all ages, and maybe this can serve as a wake-up call.

And finally, from the point of view of someone who's been through it before, my advice is for parents to enjoy every moment from the stands and cheer on your children and their teammates with encouragement, not criticism. You will all have a more enjoyable experience.
"Sure, Dad, until the ride home," said Kevin. "We never wanted to ride with you because if we had a bad game you'd lecture us all the way home."

"Yeah," I said, "but remember--if you had a good game, you got ice cream!"
Performance incentives. Now there's a subject for another day.